Keep Your Eye on the Horizon

In 1991 I had the privilege to spend ten days on the Isle of Canna in the Inner Hebrides of Scotland. This island is five miles long and two miles wide and at the time it had 14 inhabitants. The purpose of my time there was to have a “writer’s retreat” with 10 other people. My trip there encompassed so much more.

This is not an easy island to get to. We traveled for 10 hours by train from Glasgow to a small coastal town called Mallig. The next day we bought supplies at the only grocery store in town and took a 4 hour ferry ride to the island. The ferry runs once a week, so when you get to the island, you are there to stay.

On the way to the island, I became seasick. The seas were rough and it was raining. I had all kinds of people on the boat tell me what to do to remedy my seasickness--drink tea, eat ginger, sip wine. None of these remedies worked. Finally someone told me to keep my eye on the horizon. Well, I was pretty desperate by this time, so while everyone was down below eating scones and drinking tea, I was up on deck, in my rain coat, with the pouring rain and the waves, keeping my eyes on the horizon. It worked! After about 20 minutes, my seasickness was gone. Not wanting to take any chances, I stayed on deck for the remainder of the trip.

Once we arrived on the island, I was struck by the number of churches that had been built there and that were now deserted--a Roman Catholic Church, a Scottish Presbyterian Church, a chapel. I was also struck by the rich spiritual heritage of the island. There were remains of Celtic crosses and Viking graves and the world’s most renowned Gaelic scholar lived there.

While we were there, folks in my group approached me about a Sunday service. They knew I was a minister and since there were no other clergy on the island, they asked if I would preach and conduct a service. Little did these people know that at that time in my life I had been struggling with whether or not to stay in the ministry as a closeted lesbian ordained in the Southern Baptist church.

My text for that Sunday was Matthew 14:22-33. It is the story of Jesus and Peter walking on the water....”So Peter got out of the boat, started walking on the water, and came toward Jesus. But when he noticed the strong wind, he became frightened, and beginning to sink, he cried out, ‘Lord, save me!’ Jesus immediately reached out his hand and caught him, saying to him, ‘You of little faith, why did you doubt?’”

My sermon topic was “Keeping Your Eye on the Horizon,” and in the preaching of that word my life was changed. I realized I was called of God to be a minister among the people. I realized that although my circumstances might change, as long as I kept my eye on the horizon, as long as I stayed focused on the presence of Christ in my life, I could weather the storm.

One year later I decided to leave the Southern Baptist church and come out of the closet. I continued to keep my eye on the horizon of God’s calling in my life. I found my way to a denomination that celebrated my sexuality and spirituality. Today the journey continues, my horizons have broadened, and I find myself dancing on the waves and embracing the wind of my life--the Holy Spirit who animates us all.