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The Measures of Grace

 

Fourth in a series on the Lord’s Prayer

Preached at Midway Hills Christian Church

August 1, 2004

 

Today we continue our series on the Lord’s Prayer.  We have been lingering over each phrase of this prayer that Jesus taught his disciples.  In our lingering we want to go deeper, as modern day disciples, to try to understand how this prayer is a model for all our praying.

 

I am an internet subscriber to a website called Belief Net.  It is a wonderful, interactive site that publishes a prayer for each day from religions all over the world.  It has helped me appreciate that prayer comes in many languages and many forms—and many topics.

 

Of all the prayers that Jesus could have taught us, it is this one.  This is the model prayer for Christians.  When we hold this prayer up to other prayers the world over, we might ask, “Why didn’t Jesus give us a more global prayer? 

 

If this was to be a prayer for all disciples for all time, why didn’t Jesus teach us to pray for the overthrow of oppressive systems?  He did.  “God, your reign come, on earth as it is in heaven.”

 

Why didn’t he teach us to pray for an end to world hunger?  He did.  “With the bread that we need for today feed us.”

 

Why didn’t he teach us to pray for world peace?  He did.  “Forgive us as we have been forgiven.”

 

Forgiveness breaks the cycle of revenge and violence.  When we choose forgiveness over revenge it releases a ripple effect in the world that can eventually reach nations and prepare the shoreline for world peace.

 

The church uses the word ‘forgiveness’ a lot, but we rarely explain its meaning, or more importantly, how it is done.

 

When I think about forgiveness I wind up with more questions than answers:

  • Does forgiveness always imply reconciliation and restoration of former relationships?
  • How do we forgive a whole community, such as a dysfunctional organization, an ethnic group, or a whole nation?
  • Is it possible to forgive what happened generations ago?
  • What do we do with our feelings of anger, hurt, sorrow and fear when trying to forgive?
  • Is forgiveness an act of will or a deepening process?

 

Jesus taught us to pray:  “Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us.”  What does this prayer teach us about forgiveness, and more importantly about the nature of God’s grace?

 

To pray “forgive us” acknowledges that I have something in common with my enemy or the person who has wronged me—we both need forgiveness.

 

One writer has said, “It would have been challenging enough if Jesus said ‘forgive us our sins.’  But then Jesus added the word AS.

 

When we pray “forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us” we are praying a prayer of proportion.  In the matter of forgiveness, do we want God to come down to our level, or do we want to rise to God’s level?  Do we want heaven to be as it is on earth OR earth to be as it is in heaven.

 

Jesus’ invitation to pray this part of the prayer is an invitation for us to take a long, honest look at the way we measure forgiveness.

 

I love to cook and I grew up with a grandmother who did not follow recipes.  She never wrote anything down.  It was always a pinch of this, a handful of that, use just enough milk until the flour begins to stick to your hands….Well, I don’t cook like that.  I am more linear with my food, and my forgiveness.  I measure out ingredients to the teaspoon.

 

Robert Mulholland, in his book on the Lord’s Prayer has this to say about the measures we use for forgiveness:

 

  • There is the eyedropper of forgiveness.  We say, “When you repent on bent knee, admit it was all your fault, and finally accept that I am better than you, I will forgive you.  Now open your eyes because this is going to sting.”
  • There is the teaspoon of forgiveness.  We say, “I’ll forgive you, but I’ll never forget what you did. In fact, I’ll probably remind you of your sin nearly every day. Now open your mouth and take your medicine.”
  • There is the cup of forgiveness. We say, “I’ll forgive you this time, but never again. I’m going to watch you like a hawk because I don’t really believe you’ve repented. Drink up and don’t mind the bitterness.”
  • There is the cup of forgiveness with two straws. We say, “I’m sorry for what I did as long as you’re sorry for what you did. I’ll stop my sin if you stop yours.”

 

I think Peter was trying to figure out his recipe for forgiveness when he asked Jesus, “If someone sins against me, how often should I forgive?  As many as seven times?”

 

Jesus responds, “Not seven times, but seventy times seven.”  Jesus’ response was rhetorical.  He was not suggesting that 490 times should be the limit of our forgiveness.

 

The real answer to Peter’s question is in the parable that Jesus goes on to tell.  We know it as the parable of the ungrateful servant.  A king forgives a great debt of one of his servants, yet when the servant encounters someone who owes him a small amount, he throws him into prison instead of forgiving his debt.  When the king finds out he says to the servant, “Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant as I had mercy on you?”  Then he hands the servant over to be tortured until he pays the entire debt he once owed.

 

After telling that parable Jesus says, “So my heavenly parent will also do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

 

What is the measure of forgiveness in this parable?  Is it a threat?  God is not going to forgive us if we don’t forgive?  I don’t think we have that kind of power over God.  I also don’t believe we can earn God’s forgiveness by forgiving others.

 

We need to be careful about how we read this parable.  It is not an allegory.  God is not to be equated with the king in the story.  Jesus did not begin the parable by saying, “God is like.”  He began it by saying, “the kingdom is like.”  This is a parable about the nature of forgiveness in the kingdom. It is about the kingdom’s demand for unlimited forgiveness because of God’s unlimited grace. 

 

Because of God’s unlimited forgiveness we are invited to be unlimited in our forgiveness too.  Jesus told this story to illustrate the infinite grace of God.  And to illustrate what happens to us when we measure grace by our standards and not God’s.  When we fail to offer the kind of grace that we have been given the result is our own imprisonment. 

 

I came across a quote that says, “The first and often only person to be healed by forgiveness is the person who does the forgiveness.  When we genuinely forgive, we set a prisoner free and we discover that the prisoner we set free was us.” (Lewis Smedes)

 

And another that claims, “Grace is the only force in the universe powerful enough to break the chains that enslave generations.  Grace alone melts ungrace.” (Philip Yancy)

 

This is the measure of forgiveness:  When we forgive we are set free.  When we withhold forgiveness we are imprisoned, and we keep those who have hurt us in prison too.

 

Forgiveness is far more than a personal issue.  When we forgive, we break the cycle of violence, hate and revenge that permeates our world.  We counter stories of war and destruction with stories of reconciliation.

 

There is a grassroots organization known as the Forgiveness Project that gathers stories of forgiveness and posts them on their website.  They also have a traveling exhibition of words and images that they take to cities all over the world.  I love the name of the exhibit:  “The F word.”

 

For some people forgiveness is a dirty word because they would rather hold on to their hate.

 

One of the stories I encountered on the site was of Bud Welch.  His 23 year old daughter Julie was killed in the Oklahoma City federal building bombing.  When he heard of Timothy McVeigh’s arrest, he felt only rage and a desire for vengeance.  McVeigh’s lack of repentance only made his anger hotter. He said, “I just wanted him fried.”

 

Bud’s hate took him on a journey of sleepless nights and drunken binges to numb the pain.  It also lead him to visit the bombing site one cold January afternoon.  Standing there, watching hundreds of people walking along the chain link fence he thought to himself, “Will I really feel any better once McVey is executed?”  Every time he asked himself that question he got the same answer—NO.  Nothing positive would come from it.  It wouldn’t bring Julie back.  “After all it was hatred and revenge that made me want to see McVeigh dead, and those two things were the very reason that Julie and 167 others were dead.”

 

Bud Welch remembered watching Bill McVeigh, the bomber’s father, on television and suddenly recognizing his own pain and grief in that father’s eyes.

 

He arranged to meet Bill McVeigh.  They sat together and talked about their children, one who was dead and one who soon would be.  Forgiveness and mercy overwhelmed bud Welch.  He said, “I never felt closer to God than I did at that moment.”

 

He went on to say this about forgiveness. “It’s a struggle, but it’s one I need to wage.  In any case, forgiving is not something you just wake up one morning and decide to do.  You have to work through your anger and your hatred as long as it’s there. You try to live each day a little better than the one before.”

 

Jesus taught us to pray, “Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.”

 

Isn’t it about time for some of us to say the F-word?